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Given this, it takes a herculean effort to correct “and was she British?” to “ he wasn’t, no.” All that work to be responsible is undone in the face of stern, clinical authority. Yet, even if you, like me, identify as bi, when faced with that figure in the white coat or creased shirt and lanyard, nameless, disinterested, the entire weight of social expectation and heteronormativity bears down on you. It has to be said that most young people are proactive about getting themselves checked. As even the most cursory glance at the internet will tell you, some cis-men who confidently and whole-heartedly identify as straight are also having sex with men. Things are complicated even further by the fact that the words 'straight', 'bi' and 'gay' are often quite useful indicators of someone’s sexual identity, but they’re totally unreliable guides to past and present sexual behaviour.
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If you’re a healthcare professional operating under the assumption that the man presenting with symptoms is exclusively gay, you are less likely to consider an infection that should, in theory, be impossible for him to get. Some genito-urinary infections, like trichomoniasis, can be sexually transmitted from women to men but not between men.
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But this isn’t always conducive to the right care.
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Little wonder then that, for the sake of ease, some bisexual men go to clinics designed for either straight or gay men, according to the majority sex of their recent sexual partners, glossing over any discrepancies. While I appreciate that the NHS is trying to determine which information and advice would most benefit me, with some of the reactions I’ve had you’d be forgiven for thinking that the bisexual – when actually existing – is an abhorrent and undiscriminating vector of venereal disease. It’s always followed by the flicking of pages and rapid scrawling in margins. I’ve heard that line during consultations in both general and gay men’s clinics. Not that her faux surprise was anything new to me. I’m comfortable in my identity and in that label as an accurate descriptor of my own sexual behaviour. “Oh! So, you’re bisexual…” a receptionist rasped down the line. It too has its rituals, power dynamics and interrogative methods.Ĭalling up a sexual health centre in Edinburgh to make an appointment a few years ago, they asked me whether I was “straight or gay?” Feeling decidedly excluded, I said, in between. The moralising, dogmatic spirit is so deeply ingrained in this aspect of medicine that going to many clinics without symptoms is a bit like going to confession. Yet in my own personal experience, straight people are just as promiscuous and far less likely to reach for a condom. It’s a sad fact that until recently straight men weren’t routinely offered HIV and hepatitis tests.
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As such, faulty assumptions around both the higher promiscuity of gay men and the prevalence of riskier practices among them abound. But these services rely on a form of risk assessment that treats the population as if it falls neatly into two categories.
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Attending a run-of-the-mill men’s walk-in clinic, I found myself having to ask for an HIV test – not because I considered myself particularly at risk at the time, but because I wanted the full MOT and the resultant peace of mind. Yet, what has been clear in almost every case is that I, as a bisexual man, didn’t quite fit.